On July 28, 2017, I held my breath as I clicked “publish” to release my first blog post to the world. (Letting Go and Dreaming of Living Borderless) I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I felt like God had said “write”, so I said yes and started to write. I remember waking up the morning after posting that first blog being stunned that anyone besides my family had read it.
Two years have passed and I often still hold my breath when I hit “publish”. Quite honestly, the last few months sharing what’s on my heart and mind has gotten increasingly more difficult. When I first started sharing my story, I feel like I shared things that were already done. I share stories that were in pretty little boxes all tied up with bows. However, lately I haven’t had pretty bows to tie on my stories. My heart feels messy and ugly and I have told God on more than one occasion that I want to quit. I mean, if He wants to me to continue to write, I will, but only about kittens or puppies and things that make me feel warm and fuzzy.
And yet, I continue to write. I continue to write the hard stuff. I continue to write about the ugly stuff. I continue to tell a story that isn’t always pretty. Romans 5:3-5 says this:
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Okay, I know it sounds super dramatic to call writing this blog my “sufferings”. If I am being honest, this blog has been anything but suffering. This blog has become an outlet. A place for me to shout about the goodness of God. A place that has pushed me to study more and to grow deeper in relationship with my Father. It’s opened doors that I am so blessed and thankful for. However, I have been writing a lot about my “sufferings” lately and I find it incredibly powerful to be reminded that God can use everything for His glory. (Nothing is Wasted) Writing this blog has for sure produced endurance and character in my life. That endurance and character continue to produce hope.
There are days when I open my computer, look at the screen and have no words. It’s so much easier to tell a story when the story is complete. However, sometimes when I’m standing in the middle, it’s really hard to tell the story with hope.
In Exodus 31, God was asking His people to build a tabernacle. Basically, He was asking them to build a place of worship, what we would call a church today. Until that time, God’s people didn’t have a building to worship in, so the idea of building a church was foreign. However, each and every time God commanded His people to act in His name, He also equipped them. God gave very specific instructions and in Exodus 31:6 the bible says this:
Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you:
Each time I have opened my computer and found no words this year, I have been reminded that this blog is not solely my work. I am a co-laborer with the Father to write this blog. When I realize that I am a co-laborer, words come more freely. The stories that are hard to tell, become easier when I realize this isn’t my story. It’s always about the Kingdom.
All of us are called to co-labor in kingdom work, but our work may look different. For me, I feel called to write. However for you, it may be something completely different. Maybe you are called to speak, to lead, to organize, to rock babies in the nursery, to mow your neighbors lawn or to work diligently at your day job. Wherever you feel God calling you to help build His kingdom, He will equip you. We have a generous Father who is waiting to help you carry out His work.
Today I want to challenge you to say “yes” to the kingdom work God is calling you to. I can’t promise it will be easy, but I can tell you it will be rewarding! It will lead to character and endurance and hope. Romans 5:5 promises hope will never put us to shame.
In honor of my Second Blogiversary, I am hosting a fun giveaway! Head over to my Instagram before August 2 to check it out!