Have you ever taken a personality test, and after the test was over feel like you kind of hate your personality? No? Well, I have.
Last week, a sweet friend asked me if I had ever taken a certain type of personality test. She was curious to learn more about me and the way that I worked. The personality test is popular and I have seen a lot of my friends sharing their results, and I thought “Why not?” So, early Saturday morning – when Dan was still sleeping – I took the test… and I failed.
Okay, so I didn’t get a failing grade exactly, but as I read the description of my personality I hated what I read. It felt rigid and ugly. When Dan woke up, and got out of bed, I told him I was staying in bed until I got a better personality. He sweetly told me he loved my personality, and I responded with some snarky “you have to say that” type of response. He promptly rolled his eyes, and left me alone in the bedroom to sulk.
As I sulked, the lies started taking root. I’m too detail-oriented. I am too focused on a plan. I don’t have enough integrity. I can’t find balance. I’m too perfect. I’m not perfect enough. I’m not qualified enough. I’m not creative enough. I’m not responsible enough. I’m not caring enough. I’m not flexible enough. I’m just not enough.
This isn’t the first time I haven’t felt like I am not enough. (Wife Goals and Other Things I’m Not) As a matter of fact, not feeling like I am not enough is probably one of the biggest lies that I continue to pull out of my heart over and over again. It creeps in new ways, because the enemy is sneaky and he always looking for new ways to rip into our hearts and plant seeds of doubt to destroy us.
For nearly an hour after taking the test, I continued to spiral out of control into a dark place that I wasn’t enough.
As I was spiraling, the friend who started this whole thing texted and asked me what the personality test had showed. I reluctantly texted her the results and she immediately started praising God for how I was made. At this point, I wanted to throw my phone across the room. How in the world could she possibly praise God for how broken my personality is? I told her I hated the results and felt like I had failed the test. You know what she did? She copied a text I had sent her earlier in the week and sent it back to me.
It was a text where I was encouraging her that her identity is not found in what anyone else says or does…. it is found in Jesus.
Reading that text was the just what I needed to read to right my heart. My personality is not flawed. In fact, Psalm 139:14 says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Father didn’t mess up when He created me. He knew exactly what He was doing when He created me.
So I started ripping out the seeds the enemy had tried to plant in my heart and mind through that silly personality test, and replaced those lies with the truth I know. Truth I have spoken over myself before.
- I am a child of God (John 1:12)
- As a child of God, I am fellow heir with Christ. (Romans 8:17)
- No longer a slave to ANYTHING. (Galatians 4:7)
- I am God’s workmanship. (Ephesians 2:10)
- God has good plans for me. Plans that will not hurt me. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Even though I was speaking these truths over myself, I found myself still not fully accepting them. I am really good at talking myself out of the truth I find. Let me explain, if someone says “You are a child of God”, I can typically hear them. However, I often feel like a flawed child of God. I look at those around me and think they are better children of God than I am.
In 1 Corinthians 12:12-31, the Bible talks about how we all are part of the body of Christ. Just as a body is made up of different parts, each of us have unique gifts. For a body to function well, it must be made up of legs, arms, a neck, eyes, feet, lungs, kidneys and so much more. While arms are valuable and needed, if we were all functioning as arms, we would never get anywhere. Also, if the arms told the lungs “I can do this without you”, we would never get anywhere.
If I am the lungs of the body of Christ, looking around and wishing I was the arms doesn’t do me any good. It actually hurts the entire body of Christ became I am not functioning to my potential. However, look at what the Bible says about being chosen:
- 1 Peter 2:9 says I am chosen, part of a royal priesthood, called out of darkness so he could claim me as his own.
- Deuteronomy 7:6 says I am holy, loved and chosen as God’s treasured possession.
- Jeremiah 1:4-5 says that before I was even born God knew me and choose me.
What if I realized God created me with my personality traits because He knew they would be perfect for a set of lungs? When I stop focusing on what I think I should be, and just focus on what God says I am – it’s a beautiful thing. Those scriptures say that I am God’s treasured possession. Of course, this doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work on the ugly parts (like the parts that make me sulk because I’m not perfect), but it also means I can’t let what I deem as imperfections steal my joy or steal my purpose.
So today, I first want to remind you that you are also a chosen child of God. Your personality was created perfectly for what God has called you to do. I also want to encourage you to find your fit in the body of Christ. There are many ways that we can exemplify the traits of Christ to those around us. Don’t let yourself believe the lie that you are not enough. Rejoice because God created you exactly the way you needed to be to shine at what He has called you to do.