In early 2015, the hormonal disease I struggle with, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), had gotten out of control. I was experiencing debilitating symptoms that were affecting my quality of life. I was desperate for something to change so I could be “normal” again.
In early 2016, I found an OB who specializes in hormone health. I will never forget my first visit with her. Before seeing her, I felt like I was hopeless, but she encouraged me that my journey wasn’t over.
After several blood tests, supplement additions and a few diet changes…the new OB recommended a mix of hormones that was specially formulated for me. I started with shots, and then moved to a topical treatment.
In a course of a year, I lost 30 pounds (a huge accomplishment in the PCOS world) and started to find a normal life without the debilitating symptoms of PCOS. There were actually days that I forgot I had a disease. I felt awesome.
I have always had a love hate relationship with the hormones. I love them because they help my body stay on track, but I hate them because they were expensive and another “thing” to do. I really hated the idea that I would have to be on them forever.
In early 2017, we learned we were pregnant. Sadly I only carried the baby for 10 and a half weeks before miscarrying. After losing the baby, I went back to taking my hormones as I was before getting pregnant. However, I felt terrible. I was moody, achy and very aware that I had PCOS. Many of the symptoms I struggled with in 2015, started showing up.
For awhile, I told myself that it was just my body trying to adjust after pregnancy. However after a few months, it became apparent that my body wasn’t going to get back to “normal” on it’s own. So, I went in for more testing.
On October 13-14, 2017, I attended the first annual Moms in the Making Conference in Dallas, Texas. The conference was a such a sweet time. The Lord showed me so much and renewed my hope in my wait to be a Mama.
While there, the word “restoration” kept spinning in my head. Restoration wasn’t a theme of the weekend, but it was a message the Lord had specifically for me. During the prayer time of the last session, I stood in the back of the room chatting with a girl who has seen God do big things in her life. She said something I may never forget, “God wants to bring restoration to more than just our wombs. He wants to restore our finances, our time and our complete health.”
Google has several different definitions for the word “restoration”, but the one that speaks to my heart the most is “the process of repairing or renovating a building, work of art, vehicle, etc., so as to restore it to its original condition”.
I think this definition speaks to my heart so much because it reminds me that restoration doesn’t always come suddenly. Renovating a building, repairing an old piece of artwork or restoring a vehicle is usually a long hard process. Restoration can be a process. The process may hurt, however, the outcome is beautiful.
There are several times in the bible that point to restoration being the heart of God. However, the amazing thing is that the Lord rarely restores to the original condition, He restores two times what was lost! One of the most famous stories about loss in the bible is Job. He lost everything. His family gone. His health gone. His fortunes gone. However, in Job 42:10 it says the Lord restored all that Job had lost two times over.
So, I have been praying for restoration. We have lost babies, money, time and health. I believe the Lord can restore ALL that we have lost two times. Honestly, I don’t know what it looks like…. but I am praying for it. Maybe it means pregnancy? Maybe it means increases in our jobs? Maybe it means more time to spend together? Maybe it means physical healing? Maybe it means the pain of loss and wait won’t sting like it once did? I don’t know. I just trust the Lord can restore us.
Days after the conference, my OB called me into her office to go over the test results from the tests I had several weeks ago. Honestly, I was expecting her to tell me I needed some adjustments in my hormones, probably an increase. After a quick discussion, she told me my hormone levels are so high it is very evident that my body is making enough hormones on it’s own. This means I NO LONGER HAVE TO TAKE HOMONES.
After the appointment, I sat in my car and cried. Those tests were taken long before the Lord spoke to my heart about restoration. I had only been praying for restoration for 3 days before the appointment. When I walked in, I never imagined “no more hormones” is something I would hear. It feels like the start of the restoration my heart has been longing for.
That night, as I laid in bed thanking the Lord for the start of the restoration of my health, I couldn’t stop thinking of Isaiah 43:19…
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, but I know the Lord is starting something new. Rivers in dry wasteland sure sounds like restoration to me! I’m ready for it!