When I Have No Words

Anxiety is an emotion I know all too well.  For many years, I have struggled to choose faith over fear.  I can go weeks without feeling anxious, but then there are times when I feel like my anxiety threatens to crush me. For the past couple of weeks, I have felt the familiar grasp of anxiety taking root again. Maybe it’s stress? Maybe it’s grief? I don’t know. What I do know is that I have found myself struggling to breathe lately.

The past week I have spent several nights lying awake trying to solve all the world’s problems. There are so many things in my life right now that I cannot control, and that makes me crazy. So many thoughts have been swirling around in my head, and honestly, I struggle to put words to many of them.

I often pray when I lay awake at night. However, this past week, I couldn’t find words to pray. I couldn’t sort out my emotions or thoughts enough to form words. So instead of praying, I worried and wondered and assumed. I let the storm rage.

After two or three nights of little sleep and lots of worry, I was exhausted, but sleep still wouldn’t come.  Finally, I simply said “Jesus, I can’t even put my thoughts into words. I don’t know what I am feeling or how to fix any of this, but you do. Please just help”. Shortly after saying that simple prayer, I feel asleep and slept well.

I didn’t think much of this until a few days ago, I was listening to Pandora, and the song “Tremble” by Mosaic MSC came on. I hadn’t heard the song before, but it stopped me in my tracks. The first few words are:

Peace, bring it all to peace
The storms surrounding me
Let it break at Your name
Still, call the sea to still
The rage in me to still
Every wave at Your name

Psalm 107 is believed to be a historical retelling of how the Lord moved for His people. Over and over again, the chapter talks about how people cried out to the Lord and He saved them from their distress. I love verses 28-29 in the New Living Translation:

Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves.”

Two simple words “Lord, help” and the bible says He brought it all to peace. Looking back, I realize it is no coincidence that I feel asleep quickly and slept well after simply saying “Jesus, help.”

The song goes on:

Jesus, Jesus, You make the darkness tremble
Jesus, Jesus, You silence fear
Jesus, Jesus, You make the darkness tremble
Jesus, Jesus
Your name is a light that the shadows can’t deny
Your name cannot be overcome
Your name is alive forever lifted high
Your name cannot be overcome

When I think about these words, I can’t help but think of a dark room. When a light is turned on, it is impossible for the room to stay dark. The light and the dark cannot share the same space. It’s not possible. A dark room cannot stay dark when a light is turned on. Light will always overcome darkness.

In John 8:12, Jesus says he is the light of the world, but what I love about this scripture is Jesus goes on to say “Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” All I have to say, even when I have no words, is “Jesus, help!” and not only will peace come quickly, but all the darkness has to run.

 

 

 

  1. Appreciate your honest sharing. I also have a site, http://www.crushedbygod.com
    I pray the Lord continue to encourage and strengthen you. 🌹

    Like

  2. Thank you for stopping by Lisa.

    Like

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